Something’s wrong with me.

I watched Monday’s presidential debate. But what I heard was different from what Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton seemed to say.

When Clinton said, “I want us to invest in you,” what I heard was, “I will spend your money better than you will.” Also, I heard, “I will spend lots of your money!”

When Trump said our economic problems are China’s fault, what I heard was, “Blaming China wins me votes.”

When Clinton told Trump, “My father … printed drapery fabrics,” what I heard was, “Donald, you are a spoiled rich kid.”